Desember 28, 2010

almost done, 2010!

I can’t believe 2010 is almost over! This year has been  full of fun and sad adventures, hard but rewarding work, new friends and team members and more inspiration than I can possibly put into words. Tears, blood and a good smile that I was created in a picture just blow my mind into my reflection. 

Knowing one self.
Funny how the close of one year and the beginning of another always prompts reflections of time past, and intentions of time to come. I still can't find this time of year to ask myself questions about me......I'm not sure living a life that brings out the best in me, to benefit myself and others. Ouhhh God.....
Learning to accept my limitations and imperfections (but I'm still failed) trying to understanding is as important as acknowledging my strengths and talents (and it sooooo theory). Knowing what I can accept of my self as well as what I need to work on (I'm still blur about it).

God has created a time. such a beautiful way to tell time. but still time ticks away, at the same pace. One of the gifts of getting older is honing our awareness of ourselves. While I have always been driven by my soul and passion, I have to take care to keep balanced, otherwise it all for nothing. but sometimes, I lost my balanced and the time still rolling..and I'm not moved away. I called it stuck!

honestly, I'm scared the sound of a ticking clock. To me it is a profound reminder of time, of which I am in the middle of pressure from whoever they are! I dont know to choose my feelings..happy to be reminded or scared it will be a bad story in my diaries?

you know what?
I find when I race through life too quickly. I don't even get to keep the memories. I wanna moreeeeeee such awareness and appreciation for all that I have, so shame on me if I miss my own life :( huh! I should to take time with everything good / great/ sweet/ cool/ amazing/ fun/ that I do so the memories are locked in my mind forever. the truth, I'm always got the bad memories from the past just dancing in my mind, in my day, in my half life, push my bad attitude especially when I grown up. and in 2010 still can't fix it.

another lesson in my (trying to be) maturing is knowing when to fight for something, and when to let go. When something flows, and when something just isn't meant to be. And to trust that. Ameen.
but whatever still bad at 2010, I have much to gratefully reflect on! as a person, I still want to creating something magical and special for my life. I'm still trying to know who I am, but I can't ask about what I want. because my life was taken to doing something else.

Wishing you + me and all a wonderful holiday season and a 2011 filled with joy! Ameen.

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